Friday, December 17, 2010

Spontaneous Clusterf--k Syndrome

You know that event when let's say you are parked somewhere at a store, mostly distracted by the events of the day and the shopping you have just accomplished, and are looking forward to just going home and relaxing, when suddenly right before you decide to pull out of your parking space to back up, the driver of another car for some mysterious reason decides to place his or her vehicle directly in your path blocking any action on your part? And, perhaps even another car gets involved trying to find another parking space close to yours? And all you can think about is what a difference 30 seconds would have made in that situation, either give or take?

Or what about when you are at the grocery store, and you finally remember you simply MUST have one or two items which only exist on Aisle 8, which has been empty for the entire time you have spent in the store, and which you have passed numerous times, only to return and have to fight your way through a maze of four or five haphazardly placed shopping carts, kids, and even grown-up adults who magically appear to form an obstacle course specially constructed to try the human soul?

Or perhaps when you are in traffic, and need to carefully maneuver your way to your destination and suddenly a two to three second window of opportunity appears only to vanish with frightening speed leaving you feeling frustrated and perhaps even mocked for your efforts? Added to this perhaps even you may have another driver blast a car horn in your direction for something not your fault and entirely out of your control?

Well, I have a phrase for that now. It's called Spontaneous Clusterf--k Syndrome (censored for the sake of politeness), and I have it a lot recently.  I have not so much developed a saintly patience as learned how to meditate and analyze the actions and motives for possible road rage or other social rudeness, which we have way too much of in this world as it is. But at least I have a nifty term for it now.